Bright Lights, Big Ego

I’ve been playing music on and off for most of my life. I was lucky enough to attend music school in Hollywood California, played in a host of failed bands, toyed with the bullshit rock n’ roll lifestyle, even met a few famous people along the way. But I never made it into the big leagues.

To be honest, I really didn’t want to live like a gutter rat struggling to make ends meet. I took the path most followed, that of a steady job. Unfortunately jobs eat up practice time; which in turn killed my ability to play in bands.  Thus I began playing at open mics.

I’m not bitter by any means. They are a stress free, non-committal way of expressing oneself. Yes it would be nice to get paid once in a while for performing, but oh well. In spite of what Gene Simmons says life isn’t always about the money.

The one thing about open mics which has always amused me, and is the topic of this diatribe, are certain performers who develop almost comically overinflated egos after just a few performances. I’ve literally witness adult men and women almost shitting themselves because they have never played in front of a live audience. Then these same individuals magically transform into the biggest, self-important, ego maniac douche bags within a miniscule amount of time.

I guess to some, playing fifteen minutes at a local dive bar is the equivalent of selling out Madison Square Garden. Or maybe having twelve platinum records on a mansion wall, while some coked out Los Angeles’ model blows you in the grotto. I just don’t get it.

Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe I should be more like these certain individuals. Shouldn’t I insist on performing first, when clearly six other people have signed up before me? Aren’t my Bob Dylan covers more important than your covers? Hey, they are “non-commercial” messages to the common man…man. Why don’t bar owners fire those disrespectful waiters who won’t bring drinks to me on stage at my whim?

Where do these people come from? Do tell. I’m but a confused open mic-er.